Pale swallowtail butterfly

Pale swallowtail butterfly feeding on nectar from flowers
My wife does not like looking at pictures of bugs.  The only exception is for viewing shots of butterflies.  Now, even then the image has to have certain parameters.  For example, there should not be a close up of the body where its "bug like" form becomes more pronounced.  I guess it is the wings she finds acceptable.  Even their caterpillars, which seem amazing to me, are creatures which disgust her.

I caught a female Polyphemus moth a while back.  It is a huge insect, with enormous bright wings  and something to behold.  She let me put it on her jacket and photograph her with it.  She even smiled.  If I could replace it with another wonderful insect, like a praying mantis for example, she would let out a scream which could wake the dead - not a thrilling prospect for kinemortophobes (people afraid of zombies).   The essential body plan is exactly the same, only without the pretty wings.

So, I try to appease her sense of insect etiquette by not showing her any of my more "disgusting" images, which makes up about 95% of my entire collection.  She will happily comment on my other photos, critiquing or praising the imagery as motivated, but keep the bugs at bay.  To show you the extent of the trauma such a picture will cause her, you only need to let her look at a National Geographic magazine for a while. 

In my mind we could be in a doctor's office, waiting patiently in turn to be called.  I imagine she picks up a yellow framed N.G. booklet and starts perusing through it.  The place is quiet; all is still.  A cough every once in a while would break the silence.  The only really repetitive sound that can be heard is the occasional page being gently turned.  Flip, and then a pause.  Another flip, another pause.  One page after another, they are turned as each glorious image is admired and enjoyed.  Then it comes.

Flip - scream - and a rush of hands throws the offending booklet across the room.  Instantly the place comes alive.  Children who have been quiet until now are startled by this explosive response.  Nurses dart out from behind their desks wondering what the medical emergency is.  Other patients, having developed a comatose like state as their wait prolongs, are suddenly wide-eyed and fully aware.  When all settles down the occupiers of the waiting room see the Herculean thrown magazine page with its villainous graphic laying upon the floor.  All marvel at the image.  All that commotion and excitement from a simple picture.  If only it had been a butterfly.

NOTE:  The last paragraph is an imagined situation only and not likely one to be enacted.  I emphasize this in order to maintain the peace in my home.  But I think it is funny.


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